Stop and Think!

There's a statement that I'm sure all of us who are parents have said to our kids on numerous occasions. Let's take the same admonishment for just a moment and think about something.

Why do we work?

Well our most basic of needs is because we have to eat. If you don't work, you don't eat. It's a biblical principal spelled out for us in Proverbs and it makes pretty good common sense to us as well. Now this is in no way a slam on welfare and soup kitchens and the like. If we decide, as a people, to help those who need it, then by all means we should (also a biblical mandate). But those who refuse to work have no right to demand they be given anything by anyone.

But most of us don't work solely so that we can eat. We have cars, mortgages, kids, clothing, kids, health situations, KIDS... the list goes on and on. Today I stopped to think about what we work for in America. The simplest way I can put it is because we want things. Also, we want nice things. For some, we want the best things. Most of us do not have a driving passion within us to go to work because we want to. Now we try and fool ourselves a bit by trying to find a job that we like so that it feels less like work. But we work so that we can acquire nice things. Gotta have HDTV, surround sound, the newest iMac (ouch), clothes that are in style, a nice house with more room than we really need, a new car that gets 50 miles per gallon and has 45 airbags (for safety).

I made a conscious decision when our kids were born to not let work replace the responsibility we have of raising our kids. Kim and I have jobs that allow us to be home with our kids far more than other parents we know. We feel it's important for the kids to have us around in the formative years. Because of this belief, we don't have as much nice stuff as we could have. If Kim and I both had full time jobs, then we would make twice as much money as we make now. We'd have that new Honda Odyssey, the 50" plasma TV, the 6 bedroom house with swimming pool. But where would our kids be? Beyond our kids, why should we continue to fuel this never ending desire to fill our lives with things that a) don't last, b) ultimately don't satisfy and c) drive us into debts that aren't worth paying?

Right now there are alot of things I'd like to have. I'd like to have a bigger house. I have ideas for my business that need space that we currently don't have. I'd love to have a swimming pool. Being in Florida without a pool almost seems cruel (not really). Our van is in the shop for the third consecutive day (in a seemingly endless spiral of defects). We'll probably be replacing it soon enough. I'm an audio professional. But I don't have the latest surround sound set up here at home. I have a hand me down Pro Logic equipped receiver. Pro Logic! I work in the field of television, but I don't own a big screen HDTV. Somehow my 27" CRT standard definition TV is enough. I'd love to have a 1080p HDTV with a Blu-ray DVD player, don't misunderstand me.

But in all these things, I'm happy. I honestly and truly am happy. I'm content. I'm so thankful for all the things we have. That doesn't mean we have the perfect life, with no troubles at all. But I don't have to look at what my neighbor drives, or what my friends have to judge whether or not I'm successful (and happy). It's a freedom that too many people have traded in for the illusion of the American Dream. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing America. I've literally traveled all over the world, and I can tell you that the U.S. is where I most want to be. What I am saying is this: let's not get caught up in the trappings and greed of our culture which promises happiness but instead only gives us shackles. Shackled to a job so that we can have the latest, greatest_____. Evaluate your life; are you working just for stuff? Are you trading in all your time to fill your lives with things? All you parents out there, do you want to get to the day when your kids are 18 and you realize you missed them grow up so that you (or they) could have an iPhone (that'll be obsolete by then anyway)? Or a Mercedes Benz when a Mazda would do the job?

Stop and think.

For Kevin

Fortnightly Update

Sorry to have jumped off the blogging bandwagon for a while but things have been a little crazy lately.

• I just finished mixing a DVD series that took well over 20 hours to complete. It should have taken only about 12 hours. It needed ALOT of work.  Plus I "composed" all the music for it.  Got to love Garage Band.  Next up will (more than likely) be creating the audio podcasts of the series.
• Kasey took a leap into our recliner on Tuesday. Her knee went between the seat cushion and the back cushion only to be met by a metal hinge on the back. She sliced it open nicely, so off we went for a 4 hour visit to the ER to get it stitched up. The hardest part for Kasey is that the doctor said no gymnastics for at least 2 weeks. Kasey's first meet is tomorrow - she's been training and working hard all summer to be able to attend this meet. She's still going but will not be competing. There is another meet in Daytona at the end of the month that she'll be able to compete in.

• I got a new computer (the iMac you see above) this week! The last day or so has been spent getting all the files transferred over. There is always something that has to be a little tricky. This time it was getting all my iTunes files (2000+ songs) transferred. But all seems to be working smoothly now.
• Like all the other ASU alums, I was so excited to hear of App's win over Michigan.  I was keeping my eye on the ticker on ESPN.  When I turned on the TV it said Mich. 32, App St. 31 with about 2 mins to go - no other details, so I figured that it was a close game but Michigan would prevail.  I was almost jumping up and down when they updated the ticker to say FINAL - App St.  34, Mich. 32.  All the media coverage for ASU has been phenomenal.  Not many other App State fans in Sarasota though - except for the Ohio State fans who live here.
• We had a black vinyl covered chain link fence installed in the backyard so that Sammy would have a place to run around in.  Good night, how expensive can a dog be?!?  

I'm almost past the "drooling over my new computer" stage (the 24" iMac is much more impressive in person than in pics) so I'll need to get back to my regular routine of washing the dishes, entering receipts in Quicken, blah, blah, blah...  

What's Your Sign...

...that you're getting old?

Yesterday I went out for lunch with a friend/work colleague and the entire time we were there I felt like I had a booger hanging out of my nose. I had this constant itch that I just couldn't get any relief from. I felt like just digging in there to get it out, but I knew that wouldn't be appropriate in a public restaurant. So I endured the annoyance until I could get home and properly deal with the situation. I went straight to the bathroom to visually inspect the culprit and lo and behold, it was not dried mucus at all. No, it was MUCH worse. It was a...

LONG...

GRAY...

NOSE HAIR!

This isn't the first time I've had a rogue nose hair that needed some attention. But this sucker looked like a piece of spaghetti or something sticking out for the whole world to see. And I, like a village idiot, was rubbing and scratching my nose the whole time in the restaurant. Not gaining relief, but rather drawing attention to the new appendage protruding from my nose. I thought I would need the tree loppers to cut the dang thing out.

So, I guess I've entered a new phase in life. One where I have to visually inspect my nose, ears and any other orifices that I normally would not have concerned myself with to make sure I don't slowly transform into Chewbacca with realizing it.

Parental Advice

I'm wondering what the rest of you parents (young and old) have to say about this. My oldest daughter is very much like me, likes to please people and make friends. She also happens to be overweight. Her BMI calculations put her in the overweight category. She is aware of it and is trying to change some of her eating habits to try to keep things under control, but it's hard for her. She also wears glasses, which she is now convinced is akin to having hairy warts covering her face. Funny though, because she always gets tons of comments on how cool her glasses are. But those comments mostly come from adults and not from the "popular" kids. Well there is one girl at church that is the skinny, good-looking, popular girl that Alison has tried to make friends with. She claims this girl acknowledges her, but will often go on to ignore her. Now, I don't know if Alison is just being hyper-sensitive to the situation or not, but I certainly can understand her feelings of wanting to fit in. This has caused her much grief over the last year or so.

This weekend, Alison had another meltdown moment of rejection by this same girl. As Alison talked (and cried) to me about it, I remembered a post that Sarah had at her blogsite about making friends. I thought it was good advice and so I used some of it, trying to convince Alison that sometimes people just aren't going to like you and to learn to let it go. To not let one person ruin your life. To try to look out for the kid who needs a friend, instead of trying to befriend someone has more friends than they can handle. All this makes perfect sense to an adult but is of little comfort to the child who just wants to be "normal" - which is often defined by the group dynamics. Trying to convince a child to band together with the other "misfits" seems to be somewhat counterproductive (at least in my mind).

I'm sure most of this has to do with her self-worth. How do you convince a child to derive their self-worth from God rather than man? Many adults struggle with this issue, so how much more difficult is it for a kid? In the mean time, we try desperately to love her, to accept her, to motivate her, to discipline her all in a way that hopefully builds her up. I honestly don't know how to deal with the overweight issue, because I've never been overweight. I'm not bragging about it - how could I brag over something I have no control over? But it's a mystery to me trying to deal with these issues. I'm scared of saying something insensitive to her regarding her weight. I don't want to add anymore scars to her heart by being a jerk (yes, that is my m.o. from time to time).

I want to tell her to just "buck up" and get over people not liking you or saying mean things about you. Maybe that works with boys, I don't know, but it just doesn't seem to be appropriate with girls. However, I do want to instill this idea of toughening up a bit emotionally. How do I that? Can I do that without hardening her heart?

Once again, I have more questions than answers - my theme in life.

Any thoughts?

Camaro Berlinetta Commercial

LOL. "I'm FREE!!!"

Since I haven't been posting to the blog much lately, I thought I would at least put up a car commercial from the 80's. Enjoy.

Live The Life

Talk about a writer's block. I've really struggled with finding something to talk about lately. Plus things have been abnormal here at the Morris household with all the visitors we've had recently.

Ben has a good post at his blog regarding living our lives in reflection of who Christ is and how we've defined Him in our own lives. This is certainly something all of us struggle with, though we may not be aware of it. I originally was going to post this as a comment on Ben's site but decided it might be better presented as a post here.

Those of us who grew up in church have defined God by what we were taught as kids - rightly or wrongly. I know I have my own kryptonite baggage that wants to say God is disappointed in me, because I still struggle with sin. Growing up in a church that sort of indirectly taught that salvation was conditional upon your continued walk left me very frightened as a young man. I used to lay in bed as a boy feeling terrified (and I'm not sure that's strong enough) that I might not end up in heaven if I were to die. I've since come to grips with grace and faith. Unfortunately though, I tend to swing more apathetic towards my relationship with Christ. A little greasy grace to go on those faith fries.

I'm a people pleaser so I want to do the things that make people like me. It worked well for me as a young man - I was voted "Best Personality" in high school by being a friendly chameleon. I adapt well to situations and will often change my behavior to match the group dynamics to gain acceptance. However, I also have a tendency to resort to giving up if I feel like I've failed people too much. Now transpose this mind-set to a life a faith and you begin to see the quandry that many of us, I'm sure, find ourselves in. We try to make God like us by the things we do - which is impossible. He does not love us any more or any less based on our actions. Pleasing Him one day, disappointing Him the next - it's an emotional roller coaster that we needlessly ride. Our actions will one day be judged, no doubt. What exactly that will entail remains to be seen. But I'm coming to question whether I can please God by what I do - and that's difficult for me. A people pleaser who can't please?!? This blows my whole life plan out of the water.

Bible study and prayer have always been areas of my life that have been undisciplined. Continuing failures in these areas have worn down my resolve to want to keep trying some days. Why continue if I know the ending?

I DON'T know the ending and that's the whole point. These failures don't define me and they don't cause God to be disappointed in me. So everyday I should resolve to live better than the day before. To learn more about a God who is passionately in love with me and will continue to pursue me when I lose my way. To love my wife tirelessly and teach my kids the way they should go. I can't worry with pleasing Him by my actions.

One day I hope to get this thing called faith right. I hope I have it figured out before it's too late.