I've noticed for the last couple of years when I go to check in on my kids before bed, I notice how big they're getting and how quickly they're growing up. There's something about seeing your kids sleeping that makes you hyper-aware of how much they're changing. Alison will be 10 years old this year and Kasey will be 8. I've really enjoyed this stage of life, even with it's challenges. But when I look at them, it's as if I can hear the clock ticking down (no, not the puberty time bomb) on the years I have left with them. I look at them peacefully sleeping, and even though we've tried to make the most of every day, I can't help but feeling that my little girls are slipping away. I want something that I can't keep. I'm white-knuckled trying to hold onto something that can't be contained. It's kind of like the end of the movie "The Family Man" where Nicholas Cage sits in his bedroom chair trying not to fall asleep, knowing that when he awakens his family and all that's real to him will be gone, as if a dream.
Time marches on I guess, but sometimes I just want to go AWOL. It's heartbreaking when I think of it. Maybe it's just a bit of a mid-life crisis. I don't know.
3 comments:
I feel you brother. As we packed to move I got side tracked looking at pictures of my children as babies. I honestly had forgotten what they looked like at those ages. Time waits for no one. Hug and kiss them often is all I can suggest. Hang in there bro!
This is one of the hardest things about being a parent. It's good to realize it while you still have some time!
That post made me sniffle... it's been hard seeing Zack taller than me with his voice changing! I realize that my time with him is so so short. What happened?
BTW, I love the "curtain gestapo" for Helen. You are so funny.
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